[Day015] Blank Hour at He Brews Bauan Batangas

Day 018 : Pro Gamer's dreams are shortlived but victory lives forever.

Friday, July 21, 2017

I have a rough idea why parents in fable says
"Go! and make adventures!".

Because eventually these little heroes will turn into adults where Reality isnt short lived, it's unending truth.


(Syd before the party)

Me : so ganito bahay ni Clifford?
Syd : Hindi. Maganda pa bahay nya.
Me : Oooh~
Syd : Kaso patay na guard nila.
Me : (hahahaha) pinatay pala kagad.


So what happened during , next and afterwards ended like magic. It was fun how the MC gloried the moment. He knows how to kick the music too, even the audience who doesnt dance would be able to do so. 

Party is a party.


Day 16 : Exit Cues

Monday, July 10, 2017

Ive just woken up from a good dream. Definitely a good one.

Today I was not able to sleep well because I am helping my father with his papers. I barely managed to sleep 4 hours!

In my dream, I went together with a friend to buy something from your family store. The surrounding was green! Even the banner. It has a printed photo of a baby girl wearing matching pink headband on her pink-white polka dress. Your name was not written but I know it was yours.

My friend who I once introduced about our relationship during highschool immediately recognized the owner's stall. Images then popped up of a two storey house. I said , still dreaming, " Ah. He managed to buy a house. "

I dont know what I was feeling that time, I couldnt remember.or Maybe, I wasnt feeling anything at all.

When she said " Di ba si...." before she was able to pronounce your name I covered her mouth using my hand. Someone who manages the store that day will probably assume we're acquitances. I do not want any attention, neither troubles. I was infront of my Ex's store and it feels doesnt right. 

I didnt even know why I went there or why I appeared at that place.

I do not know what we've bought that day but the next thing I knew, while waiting was scrolling though my phone's messages. The succeeding scenes roomed between only you and I. My friend disappeared with no traces, nor exit cues.You looked and snatched my phone from my side. I didn't hesitate to take it back. I'm pretty clean with secrets when it comes to messages. There is nothing to be frantic about when you checked our conversations.

As I have watched you skimming through the assumed emptied convo, you saw the last remaining file there. It was a video, you clicked and decided to watch it.

I was alarmed and immediately grabbed it back. I dont know why I am perplexed neither what is inside this clip.

I assume it's something about my love for you, I remember how I used to send you videos every monthsary , and I am afraid to let you know. You let a small laugh, like the usual. Mysterious and emanating a playboy's smile.

Oh the horror!

I am repeating the feeling of falling in love with you. All I felt was how I secretly loved you all these years. I found myself alone when I managed to get my phone back. Where were you? I didnt bother to search, instead I deleted the video. I was relieved but for a moment. All lingering emotions filled the cup that I begun to type those words.

" Yo! I managed to pass my thesis, and baka ggraduate ako after Summer or September. "

It was the same tactic Ive used to send you a message. To open a familiar topic to talk to you. I know I was lying, I already stopped during my third year and now after two years asking for a break I will continue the promise.

" I managed to fulfill my promise. Salamat, thank you. " and all there was to reveal I typed it sincerely....

You were the only reason to all the why, how and what. You were the sole reason and that was the second lie.

I said in the message, I only loved you all these years when infact I have had relationships after you. I was heartbroken and found myself to wonder if someone could surpass you. All of my relationships ended shortly because I consciously compare them to you. I felt bad , myself and to them so I split up with them. I didnt tell you that, I do not want you to see how unfaithful I was while fulfilling the promise.

" Ikaw ang rason kung bakit ko ginawa to. If you dont mind, please allow me to tell you how I feel. Please allow me to say Mahal Kita. "

I stopped sending continuous message, mahal kita? Bigla akong natauhan, minamahal pa rin kita at ayoko iparating sa iyo yon. Ayoko, magiging talunan ako at alam kong di mo ko babalikan. Ganun ang pagkakakilala ko sayo at nirerespeto ko kung may gusto kang mahalin na iba. Ipauubaya ko na, hindi ako ang dapat na mahal nya. Ako lang magmamahal sayo sa paraang paglaya sa pagmamahal na ito.

" how I feel. Please allow me to say Mahal Kita - and Im taking this chance to say goodbye to you. Goodbye. Im saying goodbye to my feelings that I was able holding on to while I'm fulfilling the dream. so Thank you, it was you who gave me the reason. "

I immediately perceive images of me sitting at a pile of unfinished construction bricks while saying those words to you who were at my left side at that time. I was smiling , I saw myself smiling. It wasnt a first person point of view saw I couldnt see what your face reactions were. I was hoping you were clueless, puzzled and disbelieved with my confession. Other part of myself says, you have to stop me. Stop me from saying goodbye but I was able to finish my words to you .

You returned silence and I couldnt see your reaction. I was staring at us in an outsider's view. I wanted to half-heartedly stop myself who was smiling, but at that time when you said goodbye I felt how light my body was. The weight of my body softens like I didnt have . I was floating like a cloud, and it didnt make me stop her. It was the right thing, all these years I kept kept and kept all those feelings to myself.

Saying it to you was my problem, and whether you accept it or not was yours. If ever , though I was hoping you would, you were still feeling the same as I have did all these years I still wouldnt accept us being together. I am finally free with all those feelings and that moment was the right time to stop. Ive done enough feeding myself I love you, and probably I will still continue loving you but letting go felt so right.

My mind and body continues to feel lighter, and felt wind brushing against my face. I woke up. I woke up after saying goodbye to you. I was surrounded with pillows, a teddybear named after you beside me and two blankets preventing me to felt cold. The silence was slightly noisier than your response . The sound of the water droplets running through the PVC was calming. I stare at the ceiling remembering the details of the dreams. In my dreams Ive gathered my strength and confess. Confess? That was the right thing, but I dont wanna do it. Though I'll be certain maybe not now but the mornings to come , I'll say those words to you.

Ill say goodbye and thank you and not bothering what you will say next, what will you do next with a hint of my hopes sounding not so desperate. Just a small chance you want me back too but I'll continue to love you. That is what I will always do.

I let a small cry. What a great satisfying dream. I still love the bear beside me today. He's warm and ready at all times for a cuddle. I probably needed is a cuddle today.

[Day015] Blank Hour at He Brews Bauan Batangas

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Even before knowing what is trending inside the online web, I believe Batanguenos are always updated and of flow with the stream. On their growing years, people around my age probably blessedly experienced having baby socks with laces, pants shredded for fashion, or either shoes having pockets below to transform into roller skates. (but) That was in terms of fashion, Batanguenos are also keen in terms of food trips.

Unplanned/planned out with your barkada , family or just a simple date between the two of you creates a special meaning and

    He Brews is born on these underlying norms. He Brews Cafe has branded itself in Batangas. Places like Alangilan , 35 P.Burgos and 43 P.Burgos are it's existing branch. The interior of the cafe vibes an expressive, youthful, and fun atmosphere. It's meal especializes on iced coffee drinks, sandwiches and pasta added with rice meals good for breakfast and lunch. When I went on June 25th, it was almost time for dinner. I was invited for a small party/gathering together with my cousins.
  Sadly, 1 rice meal (German Sausage) was left on the menu and the others were pasta with snacks. Also I couldnt order their coffee specialties because I just recovered from xerostomia where my mouth runs dry because of salivary glands doesnt produce enough saliva to keep it moisturize. Caffeine intake isnt recommended. I really have taken my time choosing and went for Pesto Pasta with Honey Lemonade drink. Boys and the kids went with the available rice meal while the young lady went for each available pasta. 
He Brews Cafe's service at Bauan Batangas had shown raw of experience. That night, the store was fully occupied by other attending group of friends who went just to eat and talk there. The (3) crew inside the bar counter looked like they were cramped, obviously busy and unattentive to the new costumers. It was understandable. Making the meal for the costumers were hard task and time consuming. It was almost an hour and we havent received our orders. The costumers that arrived almost 25 minutes after us coming into the store were served first. The serving order isnt practically being monitored. Waiting in the blank hour, the drinks were already tabled and we kinda enjoyed to refresh and bond a bit. Selfies and group photos were taken. I noticed the kids had already half finished their drinks when the pasta and rice meal arrived but the carbonara which my cousin ordered hasnt shown itself yet. We decided to eat anyway.

 The one who organized the party approached the staff for a recall, Welp! unlucky for her, it seemed that her order hasnt been cooked. She had waited for proper cooking time and got her order finally.
The meal definitely suffices for all the trouble of how it get there. Eating pesto pasta for the first time , isnt that bad but I couldn't invite myself to eat it again. I have no mere experience of lavish details of what is pasta or not but pesto was dry. I don't have appetites for either cold food or dry food. What the cafe sold me was their drinks. I was able to taste Banana Choconut which the kids have while I savour my Honey Lemonade to the last sip. The presentation of this drink is enjoyable. I thought it was made of foam when it is actually iced. I'll definitely take one out when I have the time. The feedback from the German sausage meal was good too except for the rice. My first impression with the rice serving was sad. I usually bought egg sandwich from street stalls and the instrument where the egg is placed pretty much measures the same height as the He Brews servings. Boys ordered two plates of extra rice to finish the meal. I bet they have their belly satisfied. 

That day was fun, unforgettable and wasn't blank.
Dear Lola,
I thank you for the family you created with Lolo. I know you have experienced difficulties on raising them all. I love you. Thank you, I have you. Whereever or whomever you are with now, you do not have to worry. My cousins and I are getting along pretty well. We are loving each other. I think you have successfully fulfilled your role as a parent and as a wife. I hope you are fine and living well with Lola. I miss you. I love you more. These are your treasures. They are shining, well-rounded and loving persons in and outside the family.
blog written on July 1, 2017

sources : [1] [2] [3] [4]

[ Day 00 ] May events to Timeline

Saturday, June 10, 2017

The rainy season is here.
I haven't been entering any posts the past weeks even though there are things to write , I decided not to. Back to the weather, I have never hated how cold it is during the night since I was demanding it to change ever since May came. The hot concretes of road and pavements now receive the labour to cool down as noon arises.

I started watching another Korean Drama called Shopaholic King Louis , yesterday while the weeks before that was constantly checking the schedules of Pirates of the Caribbean : Salazar's Revenge on SM Cinema website. I've already taken her approval to watch but I remembered I have to prioritize the wedding of my childhood friend.

The wedding was made simple, few and selected guests arrive. The mood of the party was reflected within the both parties. I might sound mean but it is true. If ever I change my mind and commit myself to marry someone. I'll make sure, I have the necessities with me. I am prepared with that opportunity.

I hope to see my father cry in disbelief , that her loving daughter will live happily to someone who treasures her as much as my parents did. So far , I didn't like this idea, I rather see myself saving money for their hospital fees. Haha.

Speaking of June,
      I also attended a Tokyo Ghoul Promotional Event last June 2 using Youtube. Ishida's message was savage and I ended up happy and devastated at the same time. The event was translated to english by a professional, he did quite have a fighting moment which he managed to overcome. The event felt successful, and pleased with the announcement made during that time. I wished for more events like this for the foreign.

On May 25th, I finished watching Tunnel, the korean drama that explains the possibility why there were two Zodiac Killers in the movie of David Fincher. I was amazed with the story sewn for a small community. It was scary at first, may be because the screen visuals were abit dark and later it was entertaining with the cliffhangs. May 24th was alotted for Before I Fall (Movie) which I think is nothing new for the kind of concept the story was written. The decision the movie ended, however was acceptable and gained my respect. May 20th , Beauty and the Beast, which the details revised is carefully tacked for the old audiences to newly perceive. It was a scary town, Gustav fell and nobody given a fuvk? How insensitive , even for the main characters. Funny~

May 12th , Heart's birthday got me little heartbroken with the fact that my grandma is gone. I wished her a happy birthday. It was fun being with her, sharing meals and the like. It was Mother's Day too. On their way to pick me up, they have to go to Aunt's house for the pocket money. I decided to meet them there, we were blessed to have a new teddy bear. Said it was supposedly to be thrown , but was given to my Aunt instead. I named him Aldini. Heart second the opinion after some bribing I did.

[ Day 00 ] Secrets of the First Con

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Ive been waiting for June 21 ever since summer vacation begun.
I was saving money for the very least I can ( to buy Shimakaze or Colossal Titan Play set )

 so here's the deal.

The night before , my father and I argued about this toycon thingy,
he said " Kung required yan nang school, payag ako. kaso hndi "

I was devastated , left the dining table .
Hour and half later, my mum talked to me and asked why my dad didnt allow me.

I told her, I already asked them a month before that event.
So I was really sure, I know in myself, I explained it to them well.
And rejecting my offer the night before the event, would be a nuisance.

With she convinced, left the room and asked again for dad's approval.
I slept early for two reasons : First, TOYCON BUKAS, Second, I know he would not CHANGE HIS MIND.


Next morning ** ToyCon Day 2

I left our house with all of my savings ALONE ,
although mum promised me last night she'll give me additional thousand travelling to Manila.

 Dropping to the Market**
less 5 minutes from getting off the tricycle ( because I went to my granma's house )
I went to buy a LOAD CARD (then supposedly ride jeepney going to bus terminal.)
and goes to my usual place to wait for a ride.

( setting // facing the road  : DrugStore was behind me, at my right was Petron Station,
left was Photocopy/Xerox stand, and  other road , in front , the LBC BRANCH )


Waiting for a jeepney, a man approached me , stopped beside me ( half step away from me )
seconds later, I felt a soft thing touched my wrist.

I looked down , and saw his "THING" . ( to tell you frankly I was not suprised since I have seen many ads of dick head at FAKKU.  )
I acted I didnt see nothing, since its normal for me. But what he did the next thing, begun to startled me.
( He then started FAPPING , street enforcer enters the scene )

The fapper turned his back at the enforcer and me to zip his pants.
As early as the enforcer approached us, the early he then left. ( probably he didnt notice something was wrong )

After the enforcer left, the man begun fapping again , as much as close to me.
I was leaning my back on the glass of the drugstore. The couple at my back,
who were busy waiting for their medicine, ignored me when I was making noise such as " BASTOS MO KUYA ".

So I turned my back at the fapper man, and asked for the pharmacist's assistance .
I signaled and pointing to the man that was bothering me.
I said " Ate, patulong naman please ".
She then smiled as if she turned down my sour painted face while looking straightly to her eyes.

I gave up and looked back again to the man who was fapping.
ALAS ! I was safe. I didnt move minutes after that to check if I was safe to travel ...
I waited for crowd to ride with me to Batangas. Enough to make if the man is still following me.

I looked at my clock, it was 9 : 23 am.
My head was ticking about at an early fapper man.

REALIZATION at my head ***
( Yes, I'm less dramatic with pervery guys... I'm open minded, unlike those who pretending to be VIRGINS.
but atleast, I do control myself from meeting many perverts in my life.. Im still a girl, at kaming babae ay may sariling arte. )

so I arrived at the terminal at 10 : 23 am

written : 9/22/14

[ Letter 010 ] May 23rd, 3am

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

This day was like your yesterday. The streets were busy entertaining it's familiar guests. Late bluish night wishes to end for a person who stayed in a corner room. (and) Fireworks ended, he offered his hands.

[ PoTD/Letter009 ] One

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Just one touch, you give me false hope.
Just one, I turned so brittle without you knowing why.
I question myself, I wish to face why
all those years that grown by :

Cant he suffer too?
I love you, so why he cant too.
Im still walking the same pavement on those should have been.
Still foggy , the future road cant be seen.

One late night, I asked.
Should I chase you? so you could suffer too?
but my heart already knows.

I love you too,
so much that I wouldnt touch you.
I wont make you feel brittle, to my prayer you'll be strong.
So that these feelings, will still feel right all day long.

Even if I want her place, even though I want that only 1.
I wouldnt do so, because I love you - I'll let you go.

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